Trevor Noah detailed King Charless gaffeladen first week as Britains monarch following the death of his mother Queen Elizabeth II last Thursday. Its going to take a lot of work to shape the monarchy into something that everyone can get behind the Daily Show host said. But based on his first week in power looks like King Charles isnt the guy to do it.
In footage since mocked online Charles became irritated by a leaking fountain pen after writing the wrong date in a visitors book. Oh God I hate this he said. I cant bear this bloody thing.
I love how Charles says the pens leak on him all the time said Noah. Youre literally the King of England dude! If you dont like the pens get different pens. Im not an expert in the monarchy but Im pretty sure the hierarchy doesnt go Prince William King Charles and then the guy who buys the pens.
Still I feel kinda bad for him. I do Noah continued. Because in the old days the King wouldve never had these issues. There would be no leaking pens. Also the King would never get corrected after writing the wrong date. That just wouldve been the new date.
Maybe King Charles is just stressed out right now. Maybe thats why this is happening Noah mused. But if you paid attention to Charles back during his prince days you would know that this is pretty much how hes always been.
Noah pulled up footage in which a former royal butler recalled being summoned by Charles to pick up a letter that had fallen into the wastebasket next to him. When I was a kid I thought kings had to pull swords out of stones Noah laughed. This dude can barely pull his dick out of his own pants?
On The Late Show Stephen Colbert mourned the death of Queen Elizabeth II who provided comfort to Britain for over 70 years. She helped weather several financial crises joining and leaving the European Union and of course Ed Sheerans reign of terror.
King Charles has immediately assumed his late mothers financial portfolio worth billions sans the 40% inheritance tax that applies to most British subjects. Hes supposed to be the ultimate public servant and he doesnt pay taxes? That is going to cost him some votes Colbert joked.
In other news Ukrainian victories in the east of the country have shattered Russias reputation as a military superpower. But dont you worry Russia youll always have your reputation as an endless wasteland littered with clinically depressed root vegetables Colbert quipped.
The defeats have military experts noting that Russian troops suffer from low morale – or as the Kremlin calls it special military sadness Colbert joked.
On Late Night Seth Meyers tried to make sense of the numerous sprawling investigations into Donald Trump including evidence that his 2020 election defense fund actually financed dozens of rallies staff salaries and travel expenses. Although let me stress I think most people who would donate money to Trump would do it no matter what he said it was for said Meyers.
I dont know why he opened himself up to criminal liability by lying and saying it was for a legal fund he continued when he couldve just raised as much from telling his supporters Im upset and the only thing that cheers me up is money. Or Going on a fancy plane ride tomorrow wanna pay for it?
Its getting hard to keep track of all of Trumps criminal investigations Meyers added. I dont even think I could list them all here if I tried. Which is a shame because people should know about all of them given that the Republican party and so many of its midterm candidates are standing firmly behind Trump.
One of those investigations involved the Trump hangeron and MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell whose phone was seized by the FBI at a Hardees drivethrough in Mankato Minnesota. Its so fitting that they stopped Lindell at a Hardees because when you think of it Hardees would be a more accurate name for MyPillow Meyers joked.
Its just so perfect he added. I think if someone told you Hey they seized Mike Lindells cellphone your brain would just autocomplete the sentence with at a Mankato Hardees.
And in Los Angeles Jimmy Kimmel lamented how more than half of all Republican candidates on the ballot for Novembers midterms have either questioned the legitimacy of Joe Bidens victory in 2020 or actively tried to overturn the results. How is this a thing? There is literally no evidence of any kind of fraud. Certainly not fraud that couldve come anywhere close he said.
Both Republican and Democratic secretaries of state certified the 2020 results and yet these lowlifes continue with this lie its the dumbest thing he continued. Imagine if half the Republican nominees believed that chicken is a vegetable and just said thats it. This is exactly as dumb as that.
As for Mike Lindells phone seizure at a Hardees I have so many questions about this Kimmel laughed. Was the FBI following him? Or did they just say You know what eventually hes going to go to Hardees well just wait here.
I have a feeling the FBI followed him around for a few days and finally stopped him in the place that would make the funniest headline which was Hardees he theorized. And for that I commend them.
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